The Best Things Money CAN’T Buy…♡

Life’s Simple Pleasures ♡♡

We all have a list of life’s little pleasures that we cannot buy or make..things of nature, beauty and love. Things cherished, loved and those things we just can’t live without .The small and simplest of things in our lives that we love the most but Cost Nothing….but are just simply the best ♡

See if you can relate to any of these on my personal list Here are some of the things I cannot live without …

  • Dancing in the rain
  • Hot summer nights
  • Bedtime stories
  • Rope swings
  • Summer breeze
  • How a pair of “new jeans” become a pair of “old favorite ripped Jeans!”
  • A first Disney movie
  • First ballet residle
  • A perfect hair day
  • Reaching a goal
  • Having no worries
  • The sound out silence when it’s too loud
  • Finding true love
  • Standing out
  • Learning a new skill
  • Standing up for what you believe in
  • A hug when you needed it the most
  • Going on an adventure
  • Standing up against a bully
  • Sunsets and sunrises
  • Finding yourself
  • Finishing a project
  • Cuddling when it’s cold out
  • Feeling your baby kick for the first time
  • Laughing histarically with your best Freind
  • Marrying your best Freind & finding your true love
  • Believing in fate
  • Going to a festival
  • Pretty braids
  • Making a difference
  • Cowboy boots
  • Building sand castles
  • Pretty dresses
  • The wind in your hair in the summer
  • The way old Records sound
  • Cozy pajamas
  • Having fun
  • A hug when
  • Helping someonewho really needs it
  • Drive in movies
  • Finding your soul mate
  • The fair food and winning that stuffed animal you have been eyeing
  • Seeing the ocean for first time
  • Picking wildflowers
  • Watching your kidos open presents on christmas morning
  • Family traditions
  • The sound of an engine
  • Classic cars
  • Receiving good news you have been waiting for
  • Making a difference
  • Comfy old vintage tshirts
  • Eating after hunger
  • Being right
  • Writing about what you love
  • Winning a race
  • Feeling of beauty
  • Concerts
  • Listening to your favorite music
  • The smell of fresh cut grass
  • Saving someone
  • Making mistakes but fixing them all on your own
  • Dancing with the music as loud as it can go
  • Missing someone far away and seeing them for the first time in what felt like forever..
  • Living in a moment
  • Pretending your a fairy
  • Going on vacation
  • Tent forts
  • Watching our children grow
  • Picnics in the summer
  • The sound of your baby’s heartbeat
  • Finding a strength in yourself, you never thought was there
  • A nap in a hammock
  • Trying something new
  • The way a favorite pen writes “so much better!”
  • Fresh sheets
  • Daydreaming
  • Finishing a race
  • Dancing in your underwear when no one’s around
  • Road trips
  • Convertables
  • Fast cars
  • High heels on a special night
  • Shorts
  • Climbing trees
  • Favorite pair of Worn in sneakers
  • Laying under an apple tree
  • The smell of old book pages
  • Attics (my grandmothers attic)
  • Sun on your face
  • Freckle clusters perfectly resembling (what you were told were “angel kisses ” as a child 🙂
  • Being right 😉
  • Tan lines
  • Willow trees
  • Holding your child in your arms for the first time
  • The first time you learned to drive a car
  • A school dance in 5th grade
  • Catching fireflies in the summer
  • A First snowfall
  • The smell of real Christmas trees
  • Buying your first car
  • Buying your first home
  • Seeing a shooting star
  • The smell of fresh baked cookies
  • Dreams
  • Camping under the stars
  • Sleepovers with best freinds
  • Family dinners
  • Hearing the words “I Love You” for the first time

  • Graduating from college
  • Completing a project all on your own
  • The feeling from your first kiss
  • Having an accomplished blog 😉
  • The Smell of a newborn baby
  • A Typewriter sound
  • Sand between your feet
  • Having complete silence after a day of loudness
  • Christmas Lights
  • Glitter
  • Reading a good book by a fireplace on a
  • Walking barefoot in the sand
  • Tastebuds
  • Hearing birds chirping in spring
  • Sleeping in
  • Hearing your children laugh
  • Your wedding day
  • Falling in Love
  • Hearing waves on the ocean crashing against the rocks
  • Memories of happy childhood times
  • The sound of rain hitting the window
  • Being underneath a waterfall
  • A thunderstorm
  • Campfires
  • Llamas
  • A bubble bath
  • Significant scents
  • Lilac bushes
  • The smell of coffee
  • The smell of a newspaper
  • The scent of a bakery making fresh bread
  • Old pair of work boots with a story

Worn in work boots that show all the teamwork and hard late nights spend working together to create something. ..whether it is to help your horse deliver its foil or to warm the chickens from freezing on a cold night, savd the vegetables planted from critters, milking cows or building a creation of your own…it’s a memory that I never want to lose.



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Therapy and the Behavioral Interventions used for behavior and social treatment plans implemented for communicating

♡ My little princess ♡


We all want the best for our little ones and communicating is the most valuable source of interaction and growing for a child.



All children need the boost of encouragement to teach them good behavior and making new freinds is important. We all communicate and need it to educate, to learn and socially grow and have a healthy lifestyle.

● Working with children on the autism spectrum ●

What is Autism?

Autism is a developmental disorder in the brain, that can affect both nonverbal and verbal communicating problems, delay self skills, social skills and cause behavior problems. It can make it very difficult to control behavior and cause a delay in the overall development of the individual on the spectrum.

What does it mean to be on the Autism Spectrum ?

Spectrum refers to a variety of symptoms that are measured of an individual with Autism.

Therapists like me, are there to help children and adults to better achieve the goals in life t hat we all want to reach. Like making friends, learning successfully without struggling and giving up, but to continue to move forward in life based for long-term treatment.

We first observe the child to help achieve and set goals specifically designed for them to better achieve healthy, active relationships and to communicate with others. We never give up and we fight FOR the families, in setting achievable goals and provide a caring environment that will but also we do therapy in homes, clinics and daycare settings and work 1:1 with our clients. We put the childs needs first always!

Use Reinforcement always but Do not reinforce negative behavior patterns. Here is why…

For example: if a child screams instead of mands for a drink of water, it is reinforcing to the child to know that every scream will get him or her that glass of water.

Child (scream =gets what child wants = screams (is the behavior) = child gets water right away (is the reinforcement to child) because they are reinforced with the water after the scream.

So this would just continue the cycle of bad behavior …the screaming, to get water instead of healthy, more appropriate behavior of asking (manding) for a glass of water.

So by encouraging positive reinforcement instead of negative behavior and negative vocals, the child will mand for what they want or need in the future. The reinforcements then once they mand for it will be to get the water only when manding for it not screaming for it. So the child behavior has changed and reinforcement is still there with the healthy appropriate behavior present now.

If child does scream you would prompt child like so..”Do you want water? Or What would you like?” Child would say “water.” (Or even if child has speech delays the sound is what we would teach them instead) Then they would get the water, but if the child screams to get water, you would prompt again verbally to mand for it instead of screaming ,showing the child that screaming does not get them the reinforcement they want(in this case the water) but that only manding for it will get them what they want.

I believe that Creativity sparks the impossible and makes dreams become reality.

Behavior Therapy Treatment

ABA therapy

● ABA is a Technique used in many Therapy sessions and treatment plans. It is also known as Applied Behavior Analysis.

●ABA therapy is one of the best in effective techniques used in the US today by many behavior therapists. It uses techniques of social and cognitive approaches in therapy sessions by Clinical therapists, speech therapists and behavioral technicians.

Tools & Targets Used by many Behavior therapists..

  • Self-care skills
  • Playtime variety
  • Skill building Excercises
  • Visual stimuli
  • Visual Labels
  • Charts
  • Boundaries
  • Verbal- speech& sounds
  • Communication skills
  • Social bonding
  • Stim control
  • Promptness
  • Cognitive
  • Receptive instructions
  • Sensory
  • We use Lots of Reinforcement, which is key to successful treatment & is a highly effective tool in promoting long term healthy behavior.

Here is an educational and fun language arts worksheet I liked & my own daughter tried. The site education.com has lots of different varieties of fun learning worksheets to do with your kido’s or to use in a classroom! It’s a great way to promote fun into education for your little one:)

Good luck with this fun St. Paddy’s Day word tracer!

Check out Education.com for more language arts resources!
https://www.education.com/resources/ela/

Behavioral Therapy

● Working with children on the autism spectrum ●

What is Autism?

Autism is a developmental disorder in the brain, that can affect both nonverbal and verbal communicating problems, delay self skills, social skills and cause behavior problems. It can make it very difficult to control behavior and cause a delay in the overall development of the individual on the spectrum.

What does it mean to be on the Autism Spectrum ?

Spectrum refers to a variety of symptoms that are measured of an individual with Autism.

Therapists like me, are there to help children and adults to better achieve the goals in life t hat we all want to reach. Like making friends, learning successfully without struggling and giving up, but to continue to move forward in life based for long-term treatment.

We first observe the child to help achieve and set goals specifically designed for them to better achieve healthy, active relationships and to communicate with others. We never give up and we fight FOR the families, in setting achievable goals and provide a caring environment that will but also we do therapy in homes, clinics and daycare settings and work 1:1 with our clients. We put the childs needs first always!

Use Reinforcement always but Do not reinforce negative behavior patterns. Here is why…

For example: if a child screams instead of mands for a drink of water, it is reinforcing to the child to know that every scream will get him or her that glass of water.

Child (scream =gets what child wants = screams (is the behavior) = child gets water right away (is the reinforcement to child) because they are reinforced with the water after the scream.

So this would just continue the cycle of bad behavior …the screaming, to get water instead of healthy, more appropriate behavior of asking (manding) for a glass of water.

So by encouraging positive reinforcement instead of negative behavior and negative vocals, the child will mand for what they want or need in the future. The reinforcements then once they mand for it will be to get the water only when manding for it not screaming for it. So the child behavior has changed and reinforcement is still there with the healthy appropriate behavior present now.

If child does scream you would prompt child like so..”Do you want water? Or What would you like?” Child would say “water.” (Or even if child has speech delays the sound is what we would teach them instead) Then they would get the water, but if the child screams to get water, you would prompt again verbally to mand for it instead of screaming ,showing the child that screaming does not get them the reinforcement they want(in this case the water) but that only manding for it will get them what they want.

Behavior Therapy Tools & Treatment

I believe that Creativity sparks the impossible and makes the dreams become reality and the possible.

ABA therapy

● ABA is a Technique used in many Therapy sessions and treatment plans. It is also known as Applied Behavior Analysis. ABA therapy is one of the best in effective techniques used in the US today by many behavior therapists. It uses techniques of social and

Tools & Targets

  • Self-care skills
  • Playtime variety
  • Skill building Excercises
  • Visual stimuli
  • Visual Labels
  • Charts
  • Boundaries
  • Verbal- speech& sounds
  • Communication skills
  • Social bonding
  • Stim control
  • Promptness
  • Cognitive
  • Receptive instructions
  • Sensory
  • We use Lots of Reinforcement, which is key to successful treatment & is a highly effective tool in promoting long term healthy behavior.

Good luck with this fun St. Paddy’s Day word tracer! Check out Education.com for more language arts resources!

Anxiety and Coping ♡ • Self L♡ve • Self Help

Anxiety can hit anyone at anytime, I live with it each day so, I do know the impact it can have on how you live with it on a daily basis. I will share some self help skills & some tips on how to cope with Anxiety. I have included helpful information about Anxiety & a quiz to take if you think that you too, may be experiencing anxiety.. I will also be sharing my personal struggles with it, ways that help me cope & take our lives back as, our lives and loved ones are way too important to us to lose a battle to Anxiety…♡ We all have strength inside us, We just have to keep fighting, whatever obstacle, whatever disaster… We will win & walk away a better & stronger us!!♡

Anxiety makes you feel like you cannot calm your feelings or emotions.. they just turn to worry and for me personally, Anxiety kept me awake not allowing me to get the rest my brain needed each night.

What is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a mental disorder that can damage your self-awareness and your thoughts effecting great parts of your living and doing skills, physically and mentally. Then turns them into intense worry. It changes your normal habits and brings on feelings of overthinking & panic. It effects regular sleep habits, increases heart rate and even can lead to severe depression. Anxiety is amongst the most common effecting at anytime.

What triggers Anxiety?

Anxiety can be brought on by many things but some common triggers are stress related issues, traumatic situations, financial hardships, grief, certian medications and even un noticed medical conditions and these are just a few,there are many more.

Anxiety can come on at anytime and continue for as long as it chooses to until treated so coping skills really are a huge help. Anxiety gives you an overwhelmed feeling, that stays with you when dealing with any major or minor tasks & really can turn your strength into fear. It also can leave you with a feeling of hopelessness and being vulnerable to depression over time. Anxiety makes you feel like you have NO control over your own life, so any little thing can trigger a panic attack.

Types of Anxiety

  • Social
  • Panic
  • Generalized
  • Anxiety Phobias

For me, Anxiety felt like my thoughts were constantly racing in my mind. Quickly becoming panic. My blood pressure would rise, I had trouble breathing & my heart would race. I would feel very lonely but want to just be left alone…

Here are some Self Help skills that worked for me…

Anxiety coping skills

  • Meditate
  • Know that you cannot do more than 1 thing at a time! It’s a fact that I learned in psych class, that the brain literally cannot actually do Multitasking, It does not have the ability to do more than one task at any given time. I know it seems like we are but in reality it’s not really doing more than 1 thing at a time.
  • Breathe slowly and deeply
  • Go somewhere quiet
  • Relaxation
  • Write in a journal
  • Listen to soothing music
  • Excercises regularly, even just taking a nice walk helps alot!
  • Drink lots of water
  • Talk to someone about how you feel
  • Light a candle
  • Put a dab of lavender oil on wrists and temples.
  • Drink warm chamomile tea if mind is racing and cozy up in your favorite pj’s and warm blanket
  • Watch a favorable but happy movie
  • Laugh alot
  • Stay away from negative people
  • Do not try to do everything
  • Don’t focus on issues from the past or things you know you cannot fix right at the moment
  • Do something you love with loved ones
  • Read a good book in your favorite spot in the house
  • Snuggle up with your pet
  • Play with your children, they say some of the funniest things and can always sense when something is bothering you, usually that will make them want to make you laugh even more:)
  • Set a goal that you can achieve and focus on working towards it
  • Understand that you cannot do everything all at once and that you need to care for YOU just as much as anyone else!
  • Live …simple. Don’t try to be superwoman or feel bad if you didn’t get to that 1 task out of 5. You are human!

Self help…For YOU because YOU matter!

Recognizing Anxiety

Here is a quiz I made to help you find out if you have Anxiety.

  1. Do you have more muscle tension in your neck or neck stiffness?
  2. Do you have any sleep problems that are different than your normal sleep patterns? like waking up several times in the night
  3. Do you often get headaches that can be severe at times?
  4. Do you ever feel a numb or weak feeling?
  5. Do you find yourself overthinking often or think too much about things you cannot control?
  6. Do you think about bad or upsetting past situations and they make your heart race?
  7. Do you feel like loud noises startle you or make you jump more than normal?
  8. Do you focus at work, home, or when you’re out with friends on the task at hand or Do you find your daydreaming,making it difficult to be in the moment?
  9. Do you find it hard to be organized even if you were before?
  10. Do you feel it’s hard to breathe when someone tells you something that makes you upset?
  11. Do you feel physically you cannot accomplish normal tasks or that life tasks are too hard to hard to handle now?
  12. Do you constantly feel anxious or Restless?
  13. Do you feel fatigued often?
  14. Do you overthink and it never seems to help?
  15. Do you have a change in appetite?
  16. Do you feel shaky or hear a ringing noise in your ears?
  17. Do you feel overwhelmed by daily activities?
  18. Do you spend all your time rushing and seem to be getting nowhere?
  19. Do you feel an on-coming feeling of dizziness?
  20. Do you want to be alone but then feel lonely? Do you ever try to relax but it feels like it’s impossible?
  21. Do you often get an upset stomach or stomach pain after feeling worry?

If You Answered mostlly Yes to these 21 questions then you may have Anxiety and should go see a Dr or physician though to help you to know what the best ways to adress your own Anxiety and if you really do have it. Wish to you all suffering with it…my best of luck and you have lots of support in coping with anxiety♡

I hope this helped you all ♡ with learning some coping skills & you enjoyed reading it! Thanks all for your support !! ♡♡

Essential Steps to a Healthy Relationship ♡♡

♡ Healthy Relationships are built on trust, communication & love along with some other very vital elements-the kind that makes you wonder why you were ever alone in the first place, the kind that feels like it will never end and you always feel safe, sure & never have any bad gut-wrenching feelings that just gives you a feeling that something is off or just doesn’t feel right. Healthy Relationships & healthy love is purely built the kind of love that you feel safe, secure and know deep down they could never harm you or leave you feeling alone under any circumstance! True love..(the healthy kind) Is just the two of you together as a team,going against all odds, making it through the bad, the good ,the great & the even the worst but doing it as a team always! ♡

A relationship that is built on love, makes you feel alive, involves BOTH partners feeling so happy. It is with your best friend, someone who would do anything to make you smile and puts you before them.

If you want a relationship that lasts forever…then it must be first started on a solid foundation and then built upon key elements like communication, trust, and many more very important aspects. True love is what everyone is looking for when they think of the words love & couples.

As most all of us want the relationships with our loved ones to be healthy and unique to our personalities..

I have included some tips, information & ways to having a healthy, loving, unique, strong & happy relationship of your own that will last always & forever. ♡

I have studied human behavior in my psychology courses in college and have included some mind-blowing tips that will truley help improve either your current relationship to be a stronger, healthier & more bonded one to help you with the relationship that you have been searching for all along. I will also share my personal story of the real love I found, the love I thought I had and a very toxic love.

A toxic relationship (of my own)

My first real relationship was very toxic (as I have now know) was very much NOT a healthy one & from that I have learned so much.

Boy meets girl. Girl falls in….Love?

First I’m going to start off by telling you a very personal situation of my own in a story of my own past relationship… and explain the truths that all relationships are not always healthy.

My first real relationship was very toxic ( as I now know ) was very much NOT a healthy one, which is what I really learned from.

I married my high-school sweetheart, the boy that I had been with since high school we married very young I was 18 and he was 19. He was my best friend, and protected me around everyone which was amazing at that age to have someone who loved me that much & took such good care of me. We had three beautiful children together and always had our ups and downs as any relationship does, but over time drugs and partying entered our lives, drugs came in too. I chose to be a Mother at age 21 (when we had our first son) He chose partying…

He always was a very hard worker and took care of me, loved me & would apologize often for the more frequent fights and awful things that happened during these fights. I felt I still could not just walk away and his threats of “if I left”…would scare me to the point I just would continue to forgive him …which just allowed it to become a repeadative thing…but a few more years passed, it seemed to be a little better, we bought our first home, had our 2nd son. Things progressed to worse and really started to see the controlling side of him .. I felt sad all the time, always feeling bad feelings in my gut which I believe was a fear I’d walk through the door and he would harm me again (as it had gotten slightly physical but only a few times during fights) I was afraid he would harm one of our children so I just left but it was only for a short time until..

He would call crying frantically, saying he couldn’t live without me & our little boys so I would feel bad as he never did ever do anything to hurt our babies and I knew he couldn’t do that..so I ended up going right back. My sister & my mom did not want him or his rage with me. (as he had on several occasions screamed at my mom, made her leave our home & calling her names )

So then our daughter came into our lives, a few more arguments but this time worse involving some instances of severe physical abuse that had happened after my daughter was born, only this time something clicked in me, I just KNEW something terrible would happen if didn’t get out soon, I remember thinking to myself….”but how do I just leave?” “He is the father of my kids, the only person I’ve known for 17 years!” I became an adult with this man…He was my best freind. I loved him like no other” so I stayed yet again alittle longer…

When is enough…enough?

Two more years passed, he got controlling wanting me to call when I would arrive at the grocery store, asking how long it would take and if I was longer than that time ,he would call repeatedly when I got home it would turn into fights, him accusing me of being somewhere else. I really could not take the arguments anymore knowing that I would have to show him receipts when getting groceries to prove where I was & why it took longer than the time requested. I was in line one afternoon getting groceries, when it took longer than expected, as there were only a few cashiers at the check out that day. I dealt with this among …many other things for 17 years as the fights grew worse, which eventually turned into scarey kinds of threats and repeated physical abuse, especially when I went back to college to finish my degree. I knew I still loved him very much…and hadn’t told anyone about the abuse physically or emotionally. It wasn’t until my daughter who is age 6 now and the neighbors calling the police his abuse towards me that I knew, as scared as I was inside that this was not loved and I had to leave. So I rented a storage unit and day by day slowly put things inside it hoping he would not know, until the day I could get out safely.

I finally got out and he was enraged, he was doing drugs a lot more now ,was getting extremely violent now, blocking my car in so I couldn’t leave, accuse me of cheating while I was at my college classes, saying if I left he would harm himself , drinking on a regular basis and even put a knife to me & choked me until I would promise not to leave along with many more awful things. I knew I had to be strong for my children and keep moving forward so finally I did…

Girl Gone…Boy gone crazy

After 3 years have finally allowed some one else into my children and my lives and I have never been happier! I am so glad  I did! I never thought of wanting to meet someone else or that love even existed after I devoted 17+ years to one man so cold , so controlling &  heartless but I have never knew what feeling safe meant until I met my amazingly loving, kind hearted man. God was watching over me & my children all that time and for that I am so very grateful..

I have been with him for 2 years now and he has never once treated me badly or even raise his voice to me. He protects us and loves my children like his own. I know God was looking out for me because I had no clue what real love was until I met him. So i guess now I am lucky in love….:)

♡ Love ♡ the relationship your in♡

♡And so…

they built a life together. A new life…a fresh beginning with no more fear or tears..Just pure love♡ A love like no other♡

♡Here are key essentials to a having & keeping a healthy relationship ♡

Laugh with them more often. Do not argue or pick arguments do not take your day out and them, as they may have had a long day too.

Try to be compassionate to their feelings and be more understanding.

Leave little sweet messages or love notes just because, not just texts (like lipstick on the mirror in the morning ) It really shows you care.

Be patient with them, they don’t all do the things exactly the same so we need to have patience with those we love.

Me & you should equal a distance or a goal you are both trying to reach together or have succeeded, a lifelong Adventure you cannot wait to start or go on, future of Love, friendship, trust, laughter, smiles, tears of joy, making up, and Alive feeling always knowing you both are lucky to have such an amazing love that can never fade Or grow weak through Time.♡

Be wild & free, adventurous together! Go on trips when you can, Laugh all the time, Live..Let love in & leave the negative out! Do fun things as a couple at least once a week if possible.

Take morning showers together. ♡

♡ No matter what age you are..act like kids when your together♡ All of us have that inner child inside of us & once it is brought out of both of you, new memories, new bonds will form and you will make more memories of the fun you two share. This will help promote a healthier & happier relationship that will never fade ♡

Grow together. Grow as one, Don’t allow yourself “just grow “..because as you both grow up with time, you should grow together because if not, you could grow apart.

Hug each other tightly each and every day. Communicate your feelings with them and always ask them how they feel about a specific topic you’re speaking of.

Embrace the reasons you are together & use those to keep the relationship happy & uniquely yours. Remember what you fell in love with when you first met and Relive or recreate it. Go to the same place you two met or go on the same date you went on to bring back that sparked memory.

Do not interrupt each other while talking. It’s very uncaring and shows lack of appreciation for the other. What they are saying that may not be exciting to you, but is probably very important to them, so listening to your partner is extremely important.

Learn to forgive and learn to forget, arguments especially, Do not hold on to past fights or bring up reoccurring past fudes each time you have a new argument.

Communicate! Communication is the most important of all. Do not hold anything in because when you feel sad, they feel sad. When you are upset…. they are upset. tell them exactly how you feel with everything because it will help prepare you both when real trouble comes into your lives. You will not have to hold it back you will feel like you can tell your partner and will able to deal with it together as a team, which is much healthier!

Set down the cell phone, turn off the TV at least an hour each day and spend quality time together.

♡ My guy reads to me out of a book with that we picked out an old vintage bookstore, he reads a little to me each night and I help him with the bigger words he doesnt recognize LOL ♡ We laugh & have fun cuddling up and I love listening to his voice before going to bed♡

♡ Here are over 200 Cute Date Ideas for Date night ♡

  1. Go to a Drive -Inn Movie
  2. Go wine tasting
  3. Explore a new town or city
  4. Have coffee at favorite nearby cafe
  5. Kareokee
  6. Take a walk on the beach
  7. Do Couple Excercises
  8. Learn Line Dancing as a couple
  9. Bake together
  10. Play tag
  11. Babysit togethe4r
  12. Play twister-Make your own fun rules:)
  13. Go to a play in your town
  14. Go visit Antique shops
  15. Go for a long bike ride
  16. Go horseback riding
  17. Pick wildflowers in the country
  18. Sleep under the stars
  19. Get groceries together
  20. Take bubble bath together (With LOYS of bubbles)
  21. Take a country ride
  22. Go to library and look at old history newspaper articles from your town
  23. Share past childhood memories
  24. Go to a museum and look at Art
  25. Go to a comedy club
  26. Have a day in bed & stay under the sheets cuddling all day
  27. Go to a sub shop
  28. Go to an ice cream parlor
  29. Go for a morning run together
  30. Ride on a ferry
  31. Take a train to unknown destination
  32. Go try on silly clothes together
  33. Role-play
  34. Go look at houses in neighborhood that you both love
  35. Dance at home together to songs you both love from the time you met
  36. Go white water rafting
  37. Go camping just the two of you
  38. Give each other massages
  39. Have a couples spa day
  40. Go to a fair
  41. Go to a farmers market
  42. Go to a festival
  43. Go berry picking
  44. Take a walk in the woods
  45. Go hiking
  46. Go see waterfalls
  47. Test drive your favorite dream car together
  48. Make lists of goals and share them all
  49. Make a blanket indoor tent
  50. Make a game of cards against humanity
  51. Volunteer together at a shelter
  52. Play a trivia game
  53. Movie marathon
  54. Go scuba diving
  55. Go sky diving
  56. Stay at a Bed & Breakfast
  57. Go ice skating together
  58. Try a boxing class together
  59. Bowling
  60. Go fishing
  61. Get some sun together
  62. Try a new restaurant
  63. Do a photo shoot & Take turns being photographers
  64. Go to a bookstore
  65. Late night swim
  66. Have a fire on the beach (If It’s OK in your town to do this )
  67. ping pong challenge
  68. Play dice game together
  69. Go to garage sales
  70. Try a pottery class
  71. Play video game ( black opz-zombies -as you can kick butt on the same team)
  72. Watch the sun rise together
  73. Watch the sun set
  74. Tour a new place
  75. Act like tourists who are lost in close town
  76. Cook something new together
  77. Catch lightning bugs (then let them go together)
  78. Lay under the stars
  79. Play couples truth or dare
  80. Go get a psychic palm reading
  81. Take some love quizzes
  82. Make lists of loves & hates
  83. Talk with nothing in house on
  84. No cell phone-no television day
  85. Take a plates class together
  86. Take yoga together
  87. Go rollers Katina at roller rink
  88. Go visit a botanical garden
  89. Go to local arcade
  90. Shop for vintage records at record store
  91. Make milkshakes together
  92. Teach each other something new
  93. Go to at casino
  94. Tell each other at secret
  95. Go exploring somewhere new
  96. Go try something new
  97. Go to trampoline park
  98. Paint at room together
  99. Make own personalized pizzas
  100. Snuggle by fire
  101. Make smores
  102. Share interests
  103. Get lost (purposely)
  104. Make a DIY project together
  105. Share bucket list
  106. Re-Live time when you two met.
  107. Wash car together with lots of bubbles & suds 🙂
  108. Nerf War
  109. Scavenger hunt
  110. Romantic dinner in
  111. Have a picnic inside
  112. Go snowboarding
  113. Play would you rather
  114. Look up funny memes
  115. Paintball park
  116. Re-decorate together
  117. Make bed in bed of truck & sleep under the stars
  118. Tell scary stories by a fire
  119. Go sight seeing
  120. Build something together out of Leggos
  121. Visit a farm
  122. Do something you both never did before but always wanted to
  123. Go race on a race track
  124. Share your fears
  125. Share your dreams
  126. Build a snowman together
  127. Go jet skiing
  128. Go surfing
  129. Snorkeling
  130. Diving
  131. Visit the ocean together
  132. Visit a zoo
  133. Go pick apples at an apple orchard
  134. Go swimming
  135. Go tubing
  136. Go parisailing
  137. Plant flowers together
  138. Make a garden
  139. Learn a new language
  140. Spring clean together
  141. Have a Netflix n chill day
  142. Go to a baseball game
  143. Make smoothies
  144. Play monopoly
  145. Paint together
  146. Color
  147. Go feed ducks at local pond
  148. Go window shopping
  149. Go hunting
  150. Go golfing
  151. Go mountian climbing
  152. Go to a historic town
  153. Go surfing
  154. Walk your dog
  155. Watch a romantic movie
  156. Play rock, paper scissors
  157. Learn yoga
  158. Learn Latin
  159. Go visit a light house
  160. Go see abandoned buildings
  161. Go see landmarks
  162. Go visit a nursing home & help out there
  163. Learn kickboxing
  164. Go on a hayride
  165. Rent a Vespa
  166. Go rollerblading
  167. Visit the grand Canyon
  168. Take love quizzes
  169. Go feed the he birds
  170. Go to a pizza rialto
  171. Make Italian meal together
  172. Picnic in the park
  173. Go donate blood
  174. Get couple tattoo
  175. Carve pumpkins
  176. Build sand castles
  177. Make fancy breakfast and eat outside on a patio or deck
  178. Go snowboarding
  179. Cuddle
  180. Dance in the rain
  181. Pick wild raspberries
  182. Go to a vineyard
  183. Go to a brewery
  184. Visit an old cemetery
  185. Play hide n seek
  186. Visit an alpaca farm
  187. Tour a city with a guide
  188. Rent a limo
  189. Go to a concert
  190. Try Sumo wrestling suites
  191. Challenge each other to a game
  192. Learn to skateboard
  193. Roll down a big hill
  194. Barrel race
  195. Sack race
  196. Visit a rodeo
  197. Bomb roast marshallows
  198. Go to a sushi bar
  199. Try exotic seafood you have never had before
  200. Go to a foam party
  201. Play old school Nintendo
  202. Astrology

Have an ♡ “I’M ALL IN “♡ Love!

Bella the Siamese Beauty…

😸Just to make everyone smile after a long day at work or at home… Lol  Hope this makes someone smile as she has really made me smile after my long work day 🙂

Here is just a funny little blog post about my Siamese, as an idea mentioned by one of my Pinterest followers going through a hard time…Here is a little cheer & and a good laugh to brighten your long day!:)

A little Laugh from my Bella….😺😸

“Words of Wisdom” from Bella to help you smile after a long day!… 

It has been such a long day, so you know what you should do.. You should just do what I do…because since we should all be entitled to a little (ok whom I kidding…I am a CAT! )..ALOT of laying around & being lazy! Just lay on your back and put your belly out….Feeeels great!!! -words from a Siamese Lol  

😼😺 I spend most of the day laying on my back rolling around on the floor on my favorite rug in the house, then I like to sleep & usually sleep just a bit more Lol

Oh ya…and I love to eat, eat, eat & eat a little more… kinda like Garfield. 🙂

And the sun…..it’s just the absolute best feeling in the morning.

Here are a few outstanding facts about Siamese Cats….

  • Siamese breeds happen to be one of the worlds oldest breeds of cats.
  • Siamese have colorful coats of fur that is distinct to the actual temperature of the surroundings they live in.
  • Siamese cats are one of the most “Talkative” breeds!
  • Siamese used to have common traits of cross eyes and usually have very beautiful blue eyes.
  • Siamese are ranked high in population
  • Siamese cats originated in Thailand.

I AM AN INFJ

Your probably wondering what in the world that is…

  Well, an INFJ is a type of personality trait, and is found to be one of the most rare of the 16 different types that there are in the world.

Read on below to find out all about personality types, INFJ ‘s rare type and if you are one too, if not You can find out which one you are by taking the quick and fun personality test as I did. This test is accurate and only takes about 10-15 minutes!

I stands for Introverted.

N stands for Intuition.

F stands for Feeling

J stands for Judgment.

INFJ IS A PERSONALITY TYPE :

I found out that I was an INFJ a few years back in college, during one of my psychology classes. My teacher who was a recently retired Psychologist as well as a psych teacer, told us about the MEYERS- BRIGGS PERSONALITY TYPE TEST. That there are 16 different personality types in this MYERS- BRIGGS INDICATION TEST, which uses a tool called an MBTI indicator to find accurate information on personality types of individuals who take the test.

WHAT IS THIS MEYERS-BRIGGS PERSONLITY TYPE TEST ?

  • It is a questionnaire style test that will indicate the psychological differences on how individuals see the world in their own personal perspective as who they actually are personality-wise.
  • It is also called MBTI for short.
  • Experiences of us individually and the ways we see these unique experiences is measured.
  • It measures from in our individual needs & wants, our beliefs & values we hold, interests we may have and even what may motivate us individually.

Which personality type is the rarest?

Yup! You guessed it! If you thought INFJ is the rarest type then you are right, from my knowledge I learned in class (it may not be perfectly fresh in my head but it is still pretty accurate, don’t worry I looked back at my old papers from class lol ) Thank goodness I kept all of them shooooo 😉 But, back to rarest personality type, Yes It is INFJ and how rare is it?? Well, quite rare! Only 1-3 % of individuals have this personality type.

The 16 Different Myers Briggs Personality Types:

ISTJ INFJ INTJ ISFJ

ISTP ISFP INFP INTP

ESTP ESFP ENFP ENTP

ESTJ ESFJ ENFJ ENTJ

WHERE CAN YOU FIND OUT YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE?

There are many different sites out there but some can cost up to $49 to complete which is very costly, especially if you are taking this for fun but I found one that is accurate and will not cost you anything!

You can go to http://www.16personalities.com to take the assessment. It has about 93 questions and I took this test in about 11 minutes.

My test results were INFJ :Advocate. I found out that it is very rare, only about 1% of population is this type! Here’s what mine looked like so you can see an example. So, it’s pretty nice because you can have the results emailed to you or read results on site.

I hope you all enjoyed my blog on INFJ’S and the Myer-Briggs personalities. I have many more blogs so check out all my blogs!

All I Really Want Is Something Beautiful To Say….

All I really want is something beautiful to say

Author : Amber💄👡

January 27,2019

Introducing…Me👢

Hi Everyone!! I am so excited to be doing my very first blog!!! 🙂 Yay!!! I would first like to start by telling you a bit about who I am so you can get to know me better. I ABSOLUTELY love being outdoors, hiking, shopping, running, and spending time with my family. I have been told I am a bit attitude, a bit humor, a bit of a spitfire, a loving Mom, trusting & loyal friend, a Big sister and a Lil Sister, Its kind of weird but I do my best thinking with my music on lol I play guitar because it is something me & my dad did together not because I am any good at it lol😮 but I do really enjoy it just for fun!

I ♡ to dance on saturday mornings as it puts me in a great mood plus+ it is amazing cardio as well as great bonding with my little ones:)! I guess I should add that I am a bit of a dreamer… (as my mom’s always says) Lol As well as a bit..(ok a lot…OCD!)  I’m a good listener, very compassionate with the things I do but that’s just my ” own outlook on my personality really… lol So, I will just let you be the judge of that😉  Ok enough about me…Here is my very first blog!  I really hope you enjoy it!! 🙂 

So, Now that you heard all of that on my personality, some of my hobbies &interests, I’d also like to say again that I am so excited to be able to share my life with all of you with my blogs and share my favorite shopping finds, fashion trends, DIY projects for the creative one to make life just a little bit easier, share some ups and downs, and how I overcame them, things Im still struggling with and tips i can share to help others who may experience the same. I will have so many different topics and items to see so, it should be a very fun place here,on my blog site:) I really hope you all enjoy it and can relate to a lot of the topics at times too!

For my first blog being an introduction from me to you…I guess I will do some more introducing this time on my Me & my family. I have 3 amazing children. They really are my whole world!!! Children are what give us strengths and challenge us everyday because we all know….at times our own children can really be a handful! Lol I mean really more like.. two hundred handfuls on some hectic days!! But every moment we share with our families are the things we cherish most in life each day and it helps us stay strong and get through life and make all that stress from the day just fade away.

Amongst, our little family, we have a 12 year old, beautiful but a little sassy sometimes😁…. a siamese cat Bella. She loves sleeping alot!!!! Lol but really does make our family complete.

Our ♡♡♡ Bella

I will have her in some of my future blog posts as well so you can see some of her goofiness too…..whenever she’s not lounging in her favorite chair or sleeping.😉

Bella Loves to roll around in the sun on our porch



My Career as a Behavioral Therapist

Besides blogging at night my career by day is I am a Behavioral Therapist working with an amazing group of children on the autism spectrum. I absolutely would never want it any other way! I love how much light they bring me no matter how cloudy the day may be on the way to work. They light up my whole world and I feel so lucky to be able to help them grow and learn to communicate effectively as they grow into adults and become happy thriving individuals. It is such a good feeling knowing I am helping these children toward having a happy and healthy so they can have every opportunity we do and be confident in their lives as they should be.

What does a Behavioral Therapist or Technician do?

  • Provides front line treatment to clients ranging from ages 2-21 on the core deficit areas of Autism Spectrum Disorders like
  • Language
  • Comunication
  • Social Skills
  • Self help Skills
  • Other developmental abilities

Some Facts From A Behavioral Therapist✔ :

I use a variety of techniques and some ABA therapy treatments are implemented into each individualized clients plan so they get the absolute best overall care and support from our staff of technicians each & every day! I will be talking more on what this means in future posts, as it is so important in behaviorial Therapy.

My Country Home in WI.

HERE ARE SOME PICTURES OF OUTSIDE AT OUR WI HOME …..BRRRRR!

Here is some information about where I was raised and a really where I currently live. We live in the Northern part of Wisconsin, up in the area of Mountainous & higher elevation, waterfall territory our winters are extremely severe and cold between January and February and the past few days have been so bitter cold…I’m talking in the -negative digits ya’ll!!! (psst are you getting cold just reading this??)…… Brrrrrrrr! Lol I’M sure some places do get much colder but the negatives for us is pretty cold! It is STAY inside and don’t leave your bad weather with digits like that! 😬 So I’m really looking forward to winter ending as I miss being outdoors as we have been stuck indoors due to the cold advisory.

Our backyard, soooooo cold! The playhouse of my daughter’s showing
It’s got a winter coat of White
Snow!!!

Why The Desicion To Blog✒…

Well, for all of you wondering why I decided to start blogging, I always loved writing, poetry, won awards in school as a young child for writing projects in districts and have always had alot of passion towards writing and my words. I always had kept a journal & diary as a child and it always was a great way to express my words, feelings, and myself….to myself and let out all kinds of emotions I held inside so blogging seemed like a way to become more helpful to express and share this with the world…even though pretty scary to me in a way, I really enjoy helping others and meeting new people with the same interests. I can’t wait to begin this journey!

Now that I’m done with that (hopefully that was not too boring and lengthy of an introduction) lol..we are on to the good stuff that is coming up in my next blogs!!😄

Here are topics that will be on my next blog and DIY TRYS that will be on next blog as well. There will be 4 very interesting and exciting blogs to come so please follow along if you want.

Calendar of Upcoming Blogs

●👑MOMMY & DAUGHTER DAY👑 this will have a list of our favorite yoga poses we do together, fun shake recipes we love, fun ideas we share to do together & much more!👒

●❄BABY, IT’S NOT JUST COLD OUTSIDE… it’s Freezing!!!: Fun Things to do inside when it’s too cold to go outside with the Fam.❄

●A PERSONAL STORY OF LOSS : I will share a very personal life altering loss I had in my own life and self help tips to help others cope with a devestating loss. Talks of depression & PTSD.

A DIY “TRY”: ✂🔨🔧This is a DIY project I will try & will show you all how with step to step guide and what u need, end results of it & what I thought. Also how much materials cost so you can decide if it is worth trying it Yourself 🙂

So now that you know alittle bit more bout me, my Family & my blog, I hope you will continue to follow along with me through this blog, on my journey, as a friend & I hope you will comment on anything you would be interested in seeing more of in my future blogs or let me know of any DIY project ideas or topics you would like me to try or would like to be seen done, to save you time because I LOVE doing DIY projects of ALL kinds and really enjoy the feedback!!!

From us to you…. Thank you!!

Thank you so much for the opportunity to give my advice and share my stories with you all!! 😊

A Little Inspiration From Me To You:

I believe everyone deserves a chance to shine and has a place that sparkles as bright as the stars in the sky and if we all continue to support each others strengths, keep love in our hearts, and peace among us we will all share in each other’s dreams coming true and make the impossible possible!

I don’t want to at all fit in, I want to stand out… and I only want something Beautiful to Say.

♡Mommy ♡Daughter♡ Day

♡ Mommy ♡ Daughter ♡Personal ♡ Words and Sayings my own Mother told Me and Ones I made for My Daughter ♡

My mother once said to me when I was a little girl..” of all the beauty in the world, What do you think is the most beautiful?”

“A Princess is the most beautiful thing I think” I said. My mom says back “Well, yes a Princess is very Beautiful, but what makes her so beauitiful?” “Is it her hair of Gold? Her long flowing dress she is wearing? Maybe the features on her face…or could it be her sparkly white teeth and gentle smile? “.. “NO IT’S NONE OF THOSE THINGS my dear” it’s her mind that’s full of all the beauty because her thoughts and memories she is made of is all the beauty in the world.”

Real words
told to me From my OWN Mother

My mother used to always say (Whenever one of us was upset or mad before bed, at one another) “Never go to bed Mad Amber, because you never know what could happen and the last thing you would remember is this argument and us fighting…!” So she would always hug me & say Sorry and “I love you” which really always did make me think…so I made sure from then on that in an argument I always said it back and I say it to all my children each time before bed now if we are ever upset with one another as well.

Real words
told to me from my OWN Mother

Words I Wrote For My Own Daughter When She Was Born :

Today I see a very tiny baby before me in this big world. She has a tiny nose, tiny hands with tiny fingers, a very small heart, little feet with tiny toes, that curl around my fingers.

She has small eyes and tiny ears but once I look a little closer… I see those little hands holding onto something tightly. I see everything before me so tiny quickly turning so big and So full of life that the tiny isn’t what I even see anymore, her very small eyes will start seeing something big one day, seeing life in her own way,

That very small heart turning so big that it will make all your problems melt away. Those little feet will start to walk down such long roads…full of the many journeys ahead, that will always lead her home. Journey’s I hope will never be too hard,then I know as I fade back into now..where this tiny baby before me,

That what she will be is all that I was but much more, she will be better. She’ll be much wiser, much kinder and even braver along the way because her mother will never leave her side, never stop listening to her, never stop loving her no matter what and all through this huge world, I will always be her home. Always and Forever!

Personal Words of my own to my Daughter.

NOW ON TO WHAT ME AND MY” MINI ME” DID ON MOMMY♡DAUGHTER DAY!!!

These are all things fun that we did and you all can do too when you want some fun, laughs and quality time with your little one!

  • Mommy- Daughter Yoga Poses That We Did That Are Easy Enough For Beginners & Are Really Fun To Try.
  • DIY Word Game
  • Here Are Just A Few Songs We ♡ To Dance To That Are Pretty Upbeat And Fun Favorites 🎴
  • A Yummy Smoothie We Made Together With Recipe For You.
  • Fun Play Ideas That We Each Chose For Our Mommy-Daughter Day

Some Mommy-Daughter Time Hanging out & Just Being “Girls “😄

My Daughter Truly Is My Best Friend!♡♡♡

My hair was a complete mess as a 6 year old wanted to “Brush” (or rat) my hair LOL but was a memory we made that Her and I will cherish forever:) I highly suggest doing one of these days with your little one!! So much fun💜

SONG TITLES WE ♡ TO DANCE TO:

These are just a few among the TON of other ones that get us up and twirling around the house with laughter and smiles. Dancing is so fun and round is also amazing cardio!! Dancing is so fun and round is also amazing cardio!!

  • Chandelier
  • Diamond
  • Girls just wanna Have Fun
  • Sweet Child of mine
  • Material Girl
  • Voices Carry
  • Cruel Summer
  • No Roots
  • Lucky Star

A Flashback In Time⌚of Me As A Child & My Daughter As A Baby:

Me !

Mommy ♡ Daughter ♡ Yoga

The fun we had doing these yoga poses together, just brought so much laughter and smiles to us both! We really enjoyed it alot (the best part is it’s so Healthy for us! ) So it’s a win-win!

Here are the Yoga Poses We Did:

  • The Cobra
  • The Pretty Swan
  • The colorful Peacock
  • The Balancing Butterfly
  • The Tall Table
  • The Oh So Curious Otter
  • The Terrific Triangle
  • The Unique Uniform
  • The Fancy Fish

Fun! ♡ We each decided to pick something fun that we could do together for Our Mommy -Daughter Day!

Mom’s Pick: I chose to play a classic game of Candyland and Twister! We both had a really had fun time playing these Classic games!

My Daughter’s Pick: My daughter chose to play an online game in an App she has on her tablet. I had to download my own App onto my tablet so I could be in the same “world or game with her”. We played a Horse Game, a Fun Fashion game and Dance one from this App. I actually had alot of fun! We voted on fashion, made our own styles and dresses in Fashion Famous and she was very proud to show me things “MOM” didn’t know. Lol I highly recommend trying these games with your kids!:)

I actually had alot of fun! We voted on fashion, made our own styles and dresses in Fashion Famous and she was very proud to show me things “MOM” didn’t know. Lol I highly recommend trying these games with your kids!:)

Here Is A Little (Very Easy And Inexpensive) DIY Game

It’s really fun and educational at the same time! I use this game sometimes for a fun way to get my daughter to read and make small words and sound out letters, as she is starting to read in school now. So here is a little game we play that you may enjoy also. We just call it

Fast Words Game

Directions:

First, Shuffle the deck thoroughly.

Then,Put all cards into one pile.

Next, Draw 8 ( alittle harder game) or 10 (easier) cards and lay them out in front of 2 players.

Then set a timer, (we use our Alexa to set timer but you can use any timer) for 1 minute (or 2 minutes to be a little easier). Race against the other player to see how many words you can spell until timer goes off.

If you draw a blank card,it’s wild and can be used for any letter u want. If for some reason the cards can’t make any words, just put those back in deck and re pick 8 or 10 more cards.

(I know it sounds like the regular Scrabble LOL but I promise it’s not, it is similar but is definitely different)

All u Need :

  • A deck card game SCRABBLE
  • A flat surface (wide enough area to make many different words big or small.

Another little reading game we do is in the grocery store, She tries to read the labels off of her favorite foods. She really likes doing that, She likes to see how many words she can read until we get to the checkout so it’s like a little race lol

It’s just something to encourage her wanting to read & learn by having fun doing it. Sometimes just feeling proud, to show you they did something is all the reinforcment needed and every parent does that anyways I hope! 🙂

Try these if you want, it’s pretty fun for both child & Parent:)

☆ A Smoothie ☆

PINE-BERRY-BANANA SHAKE

Ingredients

  • 1 1/2 cups of vanilla yogurt
  • 2 cups of blueberries (fresh or frozen)
  • 2 cups of strawberries (fresh or frozen)
  • 1 slightly over ripe – banana mashed
  • 1 1/2 cups of crushed ice
  • 1 cup of pineapple juice
  • Optional (a splash of ginger ale or sprite )

Then you put all ingredients into a blender and blend on low speed until completely blended and serve 🙂 Yummy!!

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A TRAGIC STORY OF LOSS…My Own Personal Life-Changing Story of Loss

-This is a very personal story involving my own struggles with the loss of my best friend, protector and hero…my Dad. This is a first time shared story, being very personal & extremely hard to share, but am sharing with the intention of helping someone else who may be struggling as I have with losing a loved one to suicide. If I could even help just one person know that they are not alone & (even though all are different) that someone else “understands” what they may be feeling and going through.

~♡ In Loving Memory of My Amazingly Loving, caring ,compassionate and Talented Father – Who is cherished, held in my heart, Missed & Truley loved every Second of Every Day!~RIP Daddy! I love And Miss You but know now that You are Always next to me & Always listening~ ♡

“The term”Daddy’s Girl” is a saying that’s heard often but Father -Daughter love is something more than that to me because a Father’s love with their daughter is irreplaceable, it is like the feeling of the warmth of sun on a summer day or like feeling proud for the first time….The wind in your hair when your driving in your car with no where to go…it’s truley magical and my dad always used to tell me…No matter what happens or how old you get Amber Sue..You will always be my Baby and You always have a home here. This is the only home you need…right here.

The Day My World Stopped Dead In its Tracks…

My Father took his own life near Valentines Day Febuary 2015, that day I lost my best friend, my protector and my life went into a downward spiral, my children lost their grandpa & will miss out on all the memories he had to look forward to. Suicide has robbed me & my children of so much. Suicide is not a joke & it has to be adressed more often by Therapists & Physicians. My dad did this after being treated with anti-depressants sadly. So I hope for those who struggle with depression and PTSD are helped and know they are not alone. Support is huge in depression. Watch for warning signs that something has changed or is just off. It can make a big difference.

So, Here is my Personal Story of what happened that tragic day and how I had to cope with his loss and am still….

The call

The police found my father around Valentine’s Day in his country home, of Porterfield, they called confirming he had taken his own life, cause of death Suicide from a Self Inflicted Gunshot Wound…Omg What? I Said Quietly and Shocked…”Suicide?” I thought to myself..”My Dad?” No that can’t be true! My mind kept saying over & over again without a pause or a reason, just as if it was a song from a scratched worn c-d skipping over & over again…until I hear the police woman’s voice again in my ear as I had my phone clenched tightly as if I forgot what I was holding was a phone. The police woman continued on explaining details of the incident & asking me with sincerity in her voice a question that seemed to echo a bit from how I remember…” Sorry but you will need to call a special cleaning company to come to the house before entering….and you will need to come down to the station and get his belongings he had on him his wallet, (explaining it’s contents)a Gold wrist watch and two sets of keys…she explained all of these things in such a way as if they were just items like I felt it sounded of one of those crime shows for just a moment before returning to reality,her voice continued on slowing entering back to my ears, the officer then paused for a moment which felt like forever cleared her throat and in a very quiet voice now I have to ask you this even if it may be painful I’m sorry but do you want the gun ? Those words stay with me still in my mind . It was then at that moment when Instantly like a huge wave of emotion came all at once, ” I yelled without even thinking first “NO! ” I said it again in my head but making no sound no no way hell no how could you ever ask me a question like that? “thinking I would ever want that after what has happened? The whole reason he’s not here right now ….that aweful Gun is what took him from me “No….!” Just then, I fell to my knees, tears started pouring out,as if I was drowning in my own tears, tears wouldn’t stop, my heart was pounding out of control, I was breathing heavy starting to feel very shakey, I just hung up the phone, as I lay on the floor crying and screaming no! noo… nooo over and over ….this can’t be happening… not my dad , my best friend….it’s not real…why…why is this happening. …it’s a nightmare Suddenly, feeling very nauseous I had to run to the bathroom…

After throwing up several times, tears still present, I just laid there staring at the ceiling thinking I’m thinking not saying word to anyone for the entire week I did not talk I did not eat, I just stayed in bed.

♡In a time of Deaththe only thing that will always survive, is the love you have in your heart.♡

The Week After…..

The week after my father’s suicide I had to plan his funeral, had to clean out his house, Read documents , call a “Special ” cleaning of toxic waste cleaning company to come….How Aweful, So Sad all of this left for just me to try to figure out after he had left me….why had he left me….not told me? QUESTIONS I will never know the answers too..which left me Angry and very confused I had to try though for everyone else…yes try to keep it “together”. I Felt Numb, Changed, Hurt, Angry, Lost, Confused, Depressed and Severely Sad all at once and wasn’t sure why. I isolated myself from everyone and time seemed to stand still. I had Terrible Nightmares, so bad that I couldn’t sleep & eventually didn’t want to in fear of seeing those terrible things in my Nightmares. I put it away inside hiding my emotions and feelings from loved ones & at one point even thought it wasn’t true,he wouldn’t do that…I called the Police officer to investigate it and that maybe someone broke into my dad’s home and killed him. But I knew after deep down no because he had left me a note and the family a note. I know now that I was in the grief stage of denial.

2 Months After…

Memories started flooding in now more repeatedly and I still couldn’t stop wondering if he was ok, where did he go if he committed Suicide…I went to church all my life as a child and my mother would talk of God to me and assure me that he is in heaven but I was still so torn up and just worried as others told me different. I could feel him in his house like he was with me but thought maybe he isn’t,maybe I’m wrong. I know he is in heaven now because I believe but Grief really can make you wonder and question things you wouldn’t normally. I would still hear a truck go by and run to the window thinking My dad’s here! Then realize seconds later…Oh ya…sadly I forgot…He is Gone.

As I kept thinking of how I could lose my dad…how someone who had been so strong all my life…He had survived lung cancer…having a whole lung removed…someone who said they would never leave me…survived alcoholism, survived a divorce with his only true love he’d ever known…loss of his own father….How !? I hated how everyone kept asking are you ok and saying how they could understand.. but How?? How could they possibly know what I AM going through….? So with all that built up hurt & anger, I grew even colder inside…and it continued from there just getting worse.

I started to feel Angry as the months passed and sadness, nightmares, not eating much at all and still after 6 months not feeling myself or feeling like doing anything at all that I needed help.

Asking For Help….

I knew I was not going to ask for help or let anyone in to talk to me but was getting very sad, extremely depressed and nightmares were getting even worse, I contimplated thoughts of suicide myself just to stop the horrible emptiness and guilt I felt from losing my Dad in such a horrific way, a way that always made me wonder and question so many things in life..so I called my Mom and just said “Mom, I’m not ok…I need you to call a psychologist and make me an appointment please!” as I began to cry so hard she didn’t question it as she is my Mom and worries about me on a daily basis as it do for mine. She said “Ok”.

My mom may have been the one who saved me that day because even though me & my mom weren’t always as close as me &my Dad were, but She did this for me and has been there for me since so I am truley grateful for her love and understanding.

I went to therapy sessions and actually ended up having severe PTSD, Anxiety and Depression. I was told that I had to Accept that he is gone which really is extremely hard to do when u don’t understand why suicide has happened so I just lived with it for so long but I am doing much better now since Therapy &support from my family. I still have times each year where that sadness comes back but it is SLOWLY getting a bit easier. It is something you will NEVER “get over”, No matter who says that! It just gets easier to live with.

STAGES OF GRIEF

Here are the Stages of Grief:

  • Bargaining
  • Anger
  • Denial & Isolation
  • Acceptance
  • Depression

Suicide Prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255